24 August 2010

Quick Fire Film Review: Aug 2010

As I'm behind in my movie reviewing, I've combined a few films with short blurbs about why you should or shouldn't see them. I must warn you, we'll probably disagree.

"Salt" Lacking in Flavor
For the life of me, I cannot figure out the world's obsession with Angelina Jolie besides the fact she stole Jennifer Aniston's husband who happened to be Brad Pitt. Other than that, the big-lipped brunette no longer has claim to Hollywood, especially after this predictable doosey of a film. Basically, Angelina wanders from scene to scene, pouting her lips, smoldering her eyes, changing her hair, and trying her damnedest to look tough. Oi. Where is Jason Bourne when you need him? If anything, rent the film when you're in the mood for a brainless popcorn flick.

"Eat Pray Love" the Book
Julia Roberts is lovely. Julia Roberts is talented. Julia Roberts is a favorite actress of mine. However, Julia Roberts is not a good reason to see this film. In terms of an adaptation I cannot comment since I preferred to see the movie before reading the world-famous book. As a film, it's... okay. Everyone does a great job, especially Richard Jenkins, and the scenery is beautiful. That's it. My biggest problem is the message stories like this teach: a woman needs to travel the world to find herself. If you're lost then you're lost and a change of location isn't going to fix that-- it's the internal journey that will bring you to your destination. Don't get me wrong, I strongly encourage experiencing international culture, I just find it a hindrance when on the path to self-discovery... too many distractions. I'm hoping the book will shed more life on Gilbert's inner journey and thoughts so I can fully understand the transition-- a factor film can't show. Again, I'd say it's worth renting.

"The Expendables:" A Fun Bad Action Flick or Just Bad?
Ugh. Here's the problem with Sly Stallone's attempt at creating the most bad-ass action film in the UNIVERSE: the action sucks. During the climactic rescue scene where all of our heroes are acting out an explosive plan of attack, I literally sat in the theater yawning and thought to myself, "Gosh I'm bored." Apparently no one told Stallone not to take himself so seriously and inflated his ego instead. The action is bad, but the jokes are worse-- and I LOVE bad action films! The 80's and 90's action flicks rock my world, there's nothing better, but no one bothered to reference any of them. Skip it altogether, but if you're super nostalgic RENT and DO NOT GO TO THE THEATERS!

"Piranha" 3D is Not For Me
Ironically, my title is actually a compliment to the film as I HATE gory horror films and that's exactly what "Piranha" succeeds at: grossing me out. I actually had to leave it was so graphic; I came back because I needed to see how it ended, but my stomach was churning the whole way through. Unfortunately for me, the film had falsely been hyped as cheesy, with more laughs than horror. Even my husband, who was dying to see it and wanted my support which I was happy to give, admitted the film was not for me. I've also seen my fair share of bad horror movies and well... Piranha is not that bad, pretty freaky actually. So if that's your thing, by all means head to the theater and pay extra for the glasses.

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