"Women Food and God"... and me.

I have just finished another Summer Reading List (now Fall Reading List) entry, the Oprah recommend book "Women Food and God." And actually, it was a breath of fresh air in the midst of a grueling weight struggle. I know I said I'd post entries for each chapter but... this is easier and less boring for you. All I can say is READ THIS BOOK.

No, I'm not filled with an overwhelming exuberance to toss out all junk food in my pantry, revamp my refrigerator, and run for two hours every day. Instead, I finished the book with a feeling of relaxation knowing this process (I will never say 'battle' again) will take time but will also be worth it in the end. I'm looking for a permanent solution to a lifelong problem, not a quick fix.

Basically, Roth's philosophy is eat whatever your body wants and stop beating yourself up about it. Obviously this is hard to explain if you haven't read the book. She believes the billion-dollar diet industry attributes its continued success by making people feel bad about themselves, telling them they have a problem, should be ashamed of themselves, and must fix it immediately. And I don't disagree with her-- haven't we all said those words to ourselves at one time or another?

The overall message is to love yourself and discover the underlying reasons for why you overeat, why you graze at the refrigerator, why you seem to bounce from one weight loss program to another. It's about understanding your body and feeding it the food that gives your body energy. Sure, in an example she uses in the book, you can eat hot fudge sundaes everyday but how does that make your body feel? Not YOU as in the "false self" you perceive as yourself, but your physical body. After you clear away "The Voice"-- that negative voice constantly putting you down and claiming you're a failure and will never change-- and what you think will make you happy, decide whether you can live with your body or not then go from there. Stop warring with your body, embrace it, nurture it, and everything will then fall into place. There is so much in the book I'd love to talk about but I have a feeling this blog will begin to ramble on and on.

Roth does have eating guidelines that she recommends using once a day and a starting reference, but it's all YOUR CHOICE. "The Voice" is my biggest hurdle because I'm constantly putting myself down and keep convincing myself I'll be happy once I'm thin. And yet, how many thin people do we all know with problems just like the rest of us? I do know that, disregarding any negative thoughts about myself and my supposed 'weakness,' I need to treat my body better and lose weight strictly for health reasons. I'm hoping to have a baby in a couple years and would be a high risk pregnancy at the moment-- definitely new motivation for me. Honestly, I'm also tired, feel sick almost everyday at some point, and have been subject to chronic headaches of late. After reading WFG, my priority isn't to put myself down but put the right foods my body actually craves into it. For example, I WANT NUTRIENTS! My body is screaming for fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and lite dairy-- that's right, dairy! Soy milk as of late seems to be making me worse and I think that's due to the sugar.

Anyway, I'm taking notes in my journal as I go along to record aspects to a healthier lifestyle for ME. This, the Bible, and my book will be my references. This is what I have discovered so far--

1. I love walking-- a lot.

2. New music motivates me to pump up the volume and do an elliptical workout. With the right tunes I can end up being on there for 45 minutes and not even notice!

3. Starbucks grande lattes and mochas give me headaches, even with half the syrup. Time to switch to tall.

4. Starbucks iced unsweetened green teas are wonderful and refreshing. My body says YES!

5. When I go to the Bucks for a snack, skip the pastries and go for a KIND bar or sweet potato chips. The pastries aren't that good.

(I'm @ Starbucks right now that's why my rules are all about my favorite place)

6. Meditating is great! I think I might try doing it everyday.

7. Sodium is not my friend.

8. I heart the Body Gospel stretching workout!

9. As Starbucks is one of my favorite places to chill, I can't give it up and why should I? I haven't done anything wrong so I don't need to punish myself. It's up to me to figure out what my body likes and not what my brain says I deserve.

It's about time I love myself. Even when I lost weight at 20, I still felt like I needed to work harder and would punish myself if I didn't have a weekly loss. I think 25 years of degrading, negative, and mean hatred toward the woman in the mirror is long enough. I would NEVER treat my loved ones that way so why do I think I need to be treated that way?

"This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof."