Hot Ham and Cheese Buns

Please excuse poor lighting and my phone's camera for the greenish hue of this photo. I promise this looks more delectable than it does right here.

Anyway, Hot Ham and Cheese Buns.

I confess, I didn't always like these as I hated green olives from high school through college. Until I learned how delicious they could be in whiskey. Phase over.

The ingredients might sound a little strange-- chili sauce, green olives, mayo, green onions, egg-- will these work as a group? Won't one flavor overpower the other?  No, I say, no!

And if you hadn't guessed... these aren't the healthiest sandwiches... okay, they're not healthy at all. However, they make GREAT party sandwiches because they're meant to be wrapped individually in aluminum foil and baked. So you can make these a few days before a party, freeze them, take them out the morning of and pop them in the oven. Just make a double batch because your guests will want at least two.

Ingredients:

3 Tbsp mayonnaise (Smart Balance is a decent health choice)

2 hard boiled eggs, chopped

1/2 cup chili sauce

1/2 cup pimento stuffed green olives

1/2 lb. sliced deli ham, chopped

1/3 cup green onions, chopped

8oz sharp cheddar, shredded

12 whole wheat or buttercrust buns

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Add all ingredients together, blending with mayo and chili sauce. Spread on buns, wrap in foil, twisting securely. Bake for 10 minutes.

**If you're like me and feel AWFUL about wasting so much foil and how bad it is for the environment, I recommend baking the sandwiches open faced, baking the tops for 5 minutes and the bottoms with the filling for the full 10.

Walking in LA

Our apartment complex lives next to a golf course that lives next to the LA River Walk. Several years back the city created a giant walking/bike path along the river since it's apparently a major tourist attraction.  I guarantee you've seen it in multiple films. That racing scene in Grease? LA River.

It's pretty spectacular to see mountains in the background, quite different from the view of fields.

The only problem? Walking next to a golf course is dangerous. See those two tiny people on the path ahead? Nearly assassinated by a runaway golfball. Ah well, now I can tell everyone that "danger" is my middle name.

 And the trees along the water? They're actually part of the land in the MIDDLE of the river. The LA River runs very shallow in parts. Those trees are also the home of River People. Seriously.

 Another fun challenge of walking in LA is the horse manure from the horses that live at the equestrian center a block from our apartment. I promise we live in a city... just a very strange one.

See?

 And if you're really awesome, you can Wild West your way through the river with your horse, from the East side of the path (see above pics) via these dirt ramps. Traverse the raging LA River, the scary River People, and go to the West side of the path. There's also a tunnel that goes under the highway and, I believe, over to Griffith Park (that GIANT hill in the third pic).

It's great having a walking path nearby and quite motivating to get outside and move my ass. For being a city, LA desperately tries to keep a connection to nature, which, while the city is still dirty, is admirable.

Easter 2012

This past Sunday we reached another of the many small milestones that pave the path of Life: first Easter in LA. 

I celebrated with a mani/pedi (done by yours truly):

Love the shimmery, soft pink ("Lion Around" by Essie), but the green ("Da Bush" by Essie) looked like I had mold on my toes. Sad face. 

To make up for the brownies I made the night before, I softened some butter and threw together another batch, this time WITH flour, sugar, and butter.  They were much better. 

Michael made a reservation at Tam O'Shanter for Easter Brunch.  

Though I thoroughly LOVED my St. Germaine cocktail (Sauvignon Blanc + St. Germaine liquor + soda = HEAVEN), I found one of those tabs used to hold bread bags under my potatoes which, in turn, caused me to lose my appetite. Plus our server ignored us and was a crabass the whole time. Needless to say, my meal was free, as well as a couple cocktails, which was the least a 4-star restaurant could do.

 Later, Cooper found a new hiding place: the linen cabinet.

Because of the heat (a whopping 85 degrees), the cats spent most of the day resting.

 We coped with the heat by going for a swim.

I wish we had a church to celebrate in, but hopefully the new one we're going to next week will help us reenter a church family.  Overall, I had kind of a crappy day personally, but I can't really have a bad day on Easter, knowing my sins are forgiven because a man I never knew died for them.  

Life has been almost unbearably emotional for the last two weeks and I'm so very angry.  I've tried blogging about it, but I don't want to "bring anybody down" with my "drama." I almost tossed the Hodge Podge Gallery away, wanting to run and hide from the world because I'm so tired of people hurting me and Michael. But my husband, who is a fighter, convinced me to keep going. And so I will. Isn't that what Easter is about? Resurrection, a second chance, a new beginning with the burden of sin carried by Jesus. I hope these struggles become more and more distant as the days continue...

Veggie Chili & Flourless Brownies: Recipe FAIL

I tried a couple more recipes on Pinterest and, sadly, these were unsuccessful as they did not taste good.

The first was a slow cooker vegetarian chili I found on Real Simple that looked lovely and was packed with spices. See below:

The big pile of brown spice you see in the bottom left corner is actually unsweetened cocoa powder... which made me nervous. And for good reason.

The chili looked good, the vegetables cooked properly, but the spices made it taste... funky. No, you wouldn't spit it out as soon as it touched your lips, but something isn't quite right with the overall flavor. No good. The pin looks like this in case you want to know:

The second was a Flourless Brownie recipe I found here. The pin looks like this:

 Mine came out like so:

I was truly pulling for these brownies. Made with almond butter & honey, they were grain-free, gluten-free, and sugar free, so I hoped to get major brownie points (pun INTENDED) by making a GUILT-free chocolate treat. However, when Michael asked if I was mad at him after I served him the brownies, I laughed, spit out my own bite, and dumped the whole pan into the garbage. What a waste. 

Note: I consider myself to have a low tolerance of taste when it comes to uber healthy food, but I just did not like these. It won't stop me from trying a recipe for Paleo Brownies next, though!

Lovin' Me Some Spotify

So remember when I said how one of my current favorite things was Spotify? No?! It's like you readers have lives or something.  Well I said it. And I lied.

I FREAKING LOVE Spotify.  I want to kiss (not really) the person who came up with the idea to put tons of music in a database, let you listen to it for free with minor commercial interruptions, sync it with Facebook so you can see/share what your friends are listening to, and upload playlists from iTunes. Genius.  Although it frustrates me that I can't listen to certain tracks because they're not playable in the US-- lame!-- those are few and far between so my frustration is minimal.  And although Pandora is great at forcing you to listen to artists you've never heard before, on Spotify you're not limited to how many songs you skip, not to mention I can CHOOSE the songs I want to hear.

I listen to it so much that I look for my favorite songs on my iPod thinking I own them. Then I remember they're on Spotify and get sad. Then I come home, turn on Spotify, and I'm happy again (it doesn't take much for me).  I am seriously considering Spotify Premium for $10/ month. Anyone out there using it?  There are plenty of other services I can get for $10/mo (like makeup and beauty samples or subscriptions to magazines), but I can't express in words my love of music, as well as my desire for song choices-- I need options people!

Now that I've finished GUSHING, here's who I'm listening to at the moment:

Lana Del Rey

Before you go ranting on about her performance on SNL-- I've seen it. And it wasn't good.  She looked unbelievably nervous, especially the second time when she knew the first performance had gone horribly wrong. I'd also like to remind cynics that-- surprise!-- she's human, not to mention young with plenty to learn.  Yet, I don't think her music (falling under the category of "Sadcore") is for everyone. But I'm crazy about the lyrics.  Lines like "You fit me better than my fav-or-ite sweater," "You're so fresh to death and sick as cancer," and "He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart" are gritty, sexy, and weirdly romantic.  I don't know if she writes her songs, if it's a collaboration, or if it's someone else entirely, but they speak of wild youth, the SoCal life, and dealing with the troubles of reality.  The songs are far more interesting than anything from mainstream Pop (and I like that music too) and reminds me of lost youth like James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Winehouse, Cobain... those beautiful people who drowned in their own inner conflict.

Songs On Repeat: "Off to the Races," "Born to Die," and "Blue Jeans"

Hugo

Hugo is cool. British cool.  He has a sexy voice, sexy look, and can pull off a fedora like it's nobody's business. Not to mention his music is great-- he's got skills with lyrics and a guitar.  You may have heard his remake of Jay-Z's "99 Problems" during the credits of the "Fright Night" remake (a film you MUST see).  Yet it's the rock and roll gospel of "Old Tyme Religion" that has me coming back for more.

Songs on Repeat: "99 Problems" and "Old Tyme Religion"

Duffy

Not gonna lie: I love the British music scene. And I don't even do it on purpose! I just happen to like songs and artists and BOOM! They're British. Duffy's 2009 album "Rockferry" is (and will always be) all kinds of fun-- it's a little rock & roll with a twist of jazz.  Have a listen!

Songs on Repeat: "Mercy" and "Syrup and Honey"

William Fitzsimmons

I tried posting a picture but something has gone wrong with my Blogger photo uploader since the update.  It's extremely aggravating. TECH SUPPORT!  Anyway, Fitzsimmons definitely falls under the category of singer/songwriter with a beat (I added that last part), yet his songs go much deeper and are more beautiful than simple tales of love lost/love found. The guy has a Master's in Counseling, worked for years with the severely mentally ill, and is basically a psychotherapist (all of this info courtesy of his website... so let's hope he isn't a liar). Talk about depth: he's a man who has a different perspective on life with plenty to say about the human condition. There isn't a bad song on his album "Gold in the Shadow."

Songs on Repeat: "Bird of Winter Prey," "The Tide Pulls From the Moon," and "Psychasthenia"

What have you been listening to lately?

Jane Austen Fan Fiction: A Blogger Confession

Although I used the word "confessions," I don't actually feel guilty about reading books written as sequels or adaptations to novels written by one of the greatest female authors in literature.  That being said, these books are not up to literary scratch and certainly not intellectual novels for discussion at artsy fartsy cocktail parties.  JAFF is simple, usually predictable, hardly original, and thoroughly entertaining.  Typical reading time for an avid book reader would be 2, maybe 3 days if you're busy, and you won't be discussing themes and symbolism at your next book club gathering.

But JAFF sure is entertaining.  If you love the romantic plots of Persuasion, Emma, and Pride and Prejudice-- the 3 main novels used as JAFF foundations, P&P being the headliner-- and want to either relive the story or find out what happens next, these are the books for you.  As I said, Pride and Prejudice is the most popular adaptation, mainly because of Literature's sexiest leading man: Fitzwilliam Darcy.  And there are TONS of novels about Darcy and the women who fantasize about him... those aren't always the greatest.

Then there's the JAFF that is all about the man's perspective: diaries of Mr. Knightley/ Mr. Darcy/ Captain Wentworth, letters from these men, or retellings of Austen's stories through their eyes.  I've read a few of those books and they're pretty good.

My favorite are the sequels, the continuations of the romances and the various perspectives from authors (many of whom are Austen scholars) on where the story of Elizabeth and Darcy would lead.  Though I enjoy a modern love story on film, I'm a sucker for period romance in books.  I think it has something to do with the sexual tension created by not being able to touch the opposite sex unless dancing, not kissing until you're engaged and even then it's something to be done away from prying eyes.  There was mystery and risk in loving during the 19th century.  Like I said, these aren't the next "Great American" or "Great British" novels, but they're wonderfully entertaining and sweet.

However, you do get Romance/Erotic books masquerading as JAFF, and I've read one of those... actually that was my introduction to the genre.  I found this interesting book titled Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife at Borders and got really excited that people actually continued writing past the wedding of the Darcys.  For the most part, I enjoyed it... but what did I know?  I was 19, had never read erotic or romantic fiction,  and this was a story detailing my favorite characters from P&P plus it went into great detail when continuing the story lines of everyone, from Colonel Fitzwilliam to Mr. Wickham.  And Elizabeth Berdoll (the author) even incorporated a war, as well as servants, which is something Austen doesn't do in her novels.  But there was one major issue: the SEX.  Holy crap I'd never read anything so racy-- I liked it at first.  Thought it was controversial and interesting, but looking back on it, sex sullies the characters and name of Jane Austen.  I sound like such a prude.

Don't misunderstand, the idea of sex in the 19th century is interesting because in the upper class (and the other classes too) the act happened behind closed doors and was NEVER talked about. I like when it's subtly addressed in JAFF, but to have it thrown in my face (for example, there's a scene where Mr. Darcy is performing oral sex on his new wife while riding in the carriage to Pemberly) is rather shocking and inappropriate given the overall tone of Austen's novels.  And this isn't the only book of its kind either.  Actually, I think I'm one of a few that doesn't enjoy the sex scenes in JAFF; so many women have Colin-Firth-as-Darcy sexual fantasies and these are outlets for them.  Sex happens A LOT in the modern JAFF adaptations.  If that's your thing, coolpants, it's just not mine.  Funny story: I was so excited about Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife that I stupidly recommended it to my Austenite cousin (who happens to have a Bachelor's in English Lit) as her introduction to JAFF... yeah... needless to say she was polite about her critique but the sex didn't go over well.  And I don't think she's read any more JAFF since-- oops!  The lesson?  When recommending ANYTHING, Know.Your.Audience.

Which brings me to my Top 10 Jane Austen Fan Fiction Reads!  Here's a list of the novels I personally love and recommend if you too love the works of J.A.

1. A Match for Mary Bennett by Eucharista Ward

I have talked about/ recommended this book before and I will always stand by it.  It's romantic in the Jane Austen sense, I LOVE reading a story from Mary's perspective and watching her change yet maintain her principles, and the language is similar to Austen's which gives the book an authentic feel.  I've read it 3 times and plan on picking it up again... like tonight.

2. Sanditon by Jane Austen and "Another Lady"

This is the final, incomplete seventh novel, finished by an anonymous woman who very clearly knows her Jane Austen.  It's a lovely story with another classic heroine, and I have a feeling Jane Austen herself would approve.

3. Mr. Darcy's Daughters series by Elizabeth Aston

This is a 6 book series chronicling the "exploits and adventures" of the Darcys' five grown daughters (their 2 sons are young and away at school during the series-- don't worry, the Darcy name will carry on!).  Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam are hardly in the books which I kind of love.  The daughters are wonderfully entertaining and the books are full of interesting recurring side characters, not to mention there's always a romantic escapade. I also read Aston's modern JAFF book Writing Jane Austen-- about a writer who has to finish a newly discovered Austen manuscript and has never read one of her books (gasp!)-- and thoroughly enjoyed that book as well. 

4. Fitzwilliam Darcy: Gentleman trilogy by Pamela Aiden

The books are An Assembly Such As This, Duty and Desire, and These Three Remain.  The trilogy is a detailed retelling of P&P through the eyes of Darcy-- he basically tells the story.  I loved reading the romance through a man's perspective.

5. Pemberly Manor by Kathryn L. Nelson

A sequel to P&P that takes place right after the weddings of Jane and Elizabeth, how they cope with married life, life with Caroline, finding men for their younger sisters, and the pressures of producing an heir.  It's certainly more dramatic and there were a few subplots I wasn't crazy about, but I loved the writing, tone, and one of my favorite quotations comes from this book:

"As much as I regret that you have chosen a path of unhappiness for yourself, I choose to be happy, and you have no power to change that."

6. Captain Wentworth's Diary by Amanda Grange

Persuasion is my favorite Jane Austen novel so how could I not love reading Wentworth's diary about his love for Anne?!

7. The Other Mr. Darcy by Monica Fairview

Caroline Bingley is the heroine in this novel... wait, what?  It's true, this book is all about Miss Bingley finally finding love, and I have to say, I'm a sucker for character redemption.  Definitely worth a read... and RE-read since I just finished her two books again!

8. The Darcy Cousins (sequel to #7) by Monica Fairview

The story continues...

9. Old Friends and New Fancies by Sybil G. Brinton

This is an especially interesting JAFF book because it intertwines many of the main characters from all 6 of Austen's novels; after all, many of them run in the same social circles.  There's matchmaking, romance, unrequited love, and a couple villains to keep you entertained.  The best part? It was written in 1913!! We Austenites have been around for AGES!

10. Emma & Knightley by Rachel Billington

The story takes place one year after Emma and Knightley are married and the matchmaking exploits that happen.

I find it interesting that there's not a lot of JAFF written for Sense and Sensibility, another favorite of mine.  Also, I haven't found anything for Northanger Abbey (not a surprise), but I did find something for Mansfield Park.  It's a murder mystery in which Fanny Price becomes a horrible bitch "lady of the manor" and is thus found murdered on the grounds... crazy!  Haven't read it yet but it's for the immediate future-- I'll let you know what I think.

So that's my confession: I love Jane Austen Fan Fiction.  If you look hard enough, read reviews, and take the time to skim the books in the bookstore, you can find some wonderful homages to the great Jane Austen. Happy reading!

Mexican Stuffed Shells

I may not be able to invent dishes from nothing, but occasionally, once I've finished with a recipe it's far better improved than when I began.  Such is the Case of the Mexican Stuffed Shells (sounds like a delectable mystery novel), a Pinterest recipe found here.

It all began when my green onions went bad... the day after I did my shopping.  I should clarify that going to the grocery store-- or anywhere for that matter-- is no easy feet given the location of our apartment, the ridiculous LA traffic, and the even more ridiculous LA parking. I could've walked to the local market but I never have cash, they only allow charges to be $5 or higher, and I didn't feel like buying random stuff just to bring up the total.  Moreover... I'm lazy.

Okay so, my green onions went bad and I apparently needed them for the recipe, so I decided to substitute a real onion and saute it when I browned the meat.  As I reread the recipe I then realized the major lack of flavor my shells were sure to have.  They were just basically taco flavored meat in pasta-- BORING. Thus my stuffed shell recipe was born.  And double bonus: I also came up with a great snack as well so you're getting 2 for 1 blogs today!  How lucky are you?

Start with your seasoning-- the most important part!

Yup, that's homemade taco seasoning. Super easy, made with all common spices, and much lower in sodium than that store bought crap.  Plus look how much of the individual spices I still have leftover... and do you see how much it made?!  This will be my go-to from now on.

While the shells boil, mix up the yummy filling...

Mmmmmmm creamy goodness... You could also try using sour cream if you're not a fan of cream cheese, you just don't need to simmer the meat longer. It'll change the flavor a bit, but come on... it's not going to be bad.

You could pretty much stop at the gooey melted cheese part and say "screw you!" to the garnish.

Mexican Stuffed Shells-- Jamie style!

Filling:
1 to 1.25# ground turkey
1 onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 tbsp homemade taco seasoning
1 cup water
4oz Lite Cream Cheese
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

Everything else:

18-20 jumbo pasta shells

1 cup salsa

1 - 8oz bottle Taco Sauce

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese

Optional:

1/2 to 1 cup cilantro, chopped or torn 

Chopped green onions

Chopped black olives

Chopped fresh tomatoes

1.  Cook pasta shells according to the package's PRE-BAKE directions. (In other words, you want the shells to be al dente.  Salt the water to prevent them from sticking and be sure to separate each noodle when they're done.)

2.  In a large skillet, brown onion, garlic, and meat. When cooked through, add taco seasoning and 1 cup water, simmer for 10 minutes (or until most of the liquid has cooked down).  Then add the cream cheese in small chunks, cover and simmer, stirring regularly until meat is blended with cream cheese.  Remove from heat.  Stir in cilantro.

3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spread salsa on bottom of 9x13 baking dish (you probably won't need the full cup so feel free to save the rest for garnish). Stuff shells generously without overfilling, lay evenly in dish with the open side up, and cover shells with taco sauce.  Cover dish with foil and bake 30 minutes.

4. Remove foil, add shredded cheese, then bake uncovered for 10 -15 minutes more.  Top with condiments you like-- I obviously chose cilantro.  Serve with sour cream, salsa, and/or guacamole.

Seriously delicious dish.

**Next time I think I'll toss some chopped jalapeno in with the onion for added heat and flavor. Not to mention I'm concocting a recipe for Mexican Stuffed Shells with Chicken. Stay tuned...

And also....

Mexican Stuffed Cups-- an impromptu appetizer

So I had some leftover filling, didn't feel like boiling up 2 more noodles, and was getting hungry just smelling everything, so I decided to make up a snack.  Here's the before:

And now for the After:

These are also absolutely delicious and a great, easy snack for after school, weekends, drunk nights, a casual party... ANYTHING!

Recipe:
Mexican Stuffed Shell filling (see above)
Monterey Jack Cheese, shredded
Salsa
Guacamole
Tostitos Scoops

Fill each scoop with filling, spread evenly on baking pan, top with cheese.  Bake for 5-7 minutes at 350 degrees, or until cheese is melted.  Top with a dollop of guacamole (optional... and not pictured) and serve with salsa.

You could also use this meat filling for nachos as well.

I need a clever name for these-- any ideas?  I must say I'm loving trying out recipes and reinventing them. Do you have any recipes you are afraid to try because you're not sure if they're good?  I will make and review them for you. I wish I could do a piece where you come over and we cook the recipe together and have a photo shoot BUUUUUUT none of my readers live nearby. Sad panda.