Paleo Blueberry (Lemon) Muffins

What happens to Paleo muffins when you (I) think you're (I'm) too cool to buy muffin papers?

THIS.

Learn. From. Me.

Driven by an unhealthy desire to eat cake every morning (I don't, but in a perfect world...), I was determined to make these babies work because I wanted an alternative to eggs. The second time around, I followed instructions to the letter and as you can see, these muffins are-- borrowing terminology from Thug Kitchen-- fucking beautiful.

Contain your jealousy... just kidding. Be jealous.

Since summer is a creepin'-- well, everywhere except Minnesota-- these paleo treats make a great snack or breakfast. I omitted the lemon... NOT because I forgot to buy it at the store or anything... which I think would've added another level of flavor that was lacking in the plain blueberry muffins. The biggest flavor difference from the refined sugar and bleached flour kind we're used to is that they're less sweet.

The consistency is spongy & super moist-- so much so they soaked the cheap papers I got from Target, and they should be stored in a sealed container in the fridge to get your money's worth since paleo muffins require a hella ton of eggs, fancy maple syrup, and pricey coconut flour.

But these Paleo Blueberry Muffins were totally worth it.

Paleo Blueberry Lemon Muffins

from Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfilippo

6 eggs

1/2 cup butter or coconut oil, melted

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/4 cup grade B maple syrup (do NOT use the cheap stuff)

1 lemon, juice and zest (for plain blueberry muffins, simply omit lemon)

1/2 cup coconut flour

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/4 tsp baking soda

1 cup fresh blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Whisk the eggs, butter or coconut oil, vanilla, maple syrup, lemon juice, and zest together in a large mixing bowl. Sift in the coconut flour, sea salt, and baking soda, and stir until well combined. Gently fold in the blueberries.

In a muffin tin, scoop 1/4 cup of the batter into each lined muffin cup (natural parchment muffin papers work best for lining), and bake for 35-40 minutes. Unless your oven runs hot, then try 25-35. Test with a toothpick.

Baked (or Roasted) Chicken

According to cooking experts-- also known as "chefs"-- the true "tell" of a great cook is how well they roast a chicken.  Seriously... I read that somewhere. It's not as simple a task as it sounds-- trust me. Are the white AND dark meats moist but not undercooked? Is the skin crispy with a light brown tint?! Did you use the correct seasonings in the correct amounts?!?!

Lucky for you, I'm a Chicken Whisperer.

Growing up, I ate baked chicken A LOT.  Both of my parents worked at our church-- my dad as the choir director and my mom as the accompanist-- so during the school year, Wednesdays consisted of school, homework, children's choir, home for dinner, back to church to do homework while my parents rehearsed Senior Choir, then home to bed. When I entered junior high, children's choir ended just in time for youth group and 2 years of Confirmation.... yay. Then I matured to high school and joined adult handbells, Senior Choir, and directed the Children's Chime Choir for three years (OMG guys, are you impressed?!?!).

Like I said, we ate baked chicken a lot, especially on Wednesdays.

While I love my mother deeply-- I think it's safe to say we're besties-- her chicken was D-R-Y.  Don't worry guys, I'd never tell you anything about her I couldn't say to her face (and in this case already have-- love you Mom!). My scarred childhood of dry chicken left my badass adult self with two major life choices: never bake chicken again or bake the best damn chicken this side of the Mississippi! 

So here we are today: you wondering why I droned on about a lame chicken story and me about to share my secrets to great chicken.

The photos I have for you are an example of Baked Chicken, but I also use a roasting pan when I'm feeling saucy.

For this guy, I used my Pampered Chef Stoneware Deep Covered Baker. It's a great kitchen piece, and you can even cook a whole chicken in ten minutes using your microwave, but for the best results, take your time. 

There was plenty of room as the chicken was only 2 pounds, so I threw in veggies to take care of a side dish. Doesn't he look cozy? 

You might be wondering what's sticking out of the cavity or what spices I've used-- an excellent question. I first begin the process by crushing a glove of garlic and rubbing it all over the skin (top AND bottom). Then I surround the chicken with veggies and squeeze fresh lemon juice over everything (don't forget to get some underneath). After the lemon, I rub the chicken in quality olive oil and sprinkle a bit more over the vegetables. Place a couple garlic cloves, an onion wedge, and a lemon piece inside the cavity for moisture. You can also use apple pieces.

The best thing about poultry is the meat's flavor adaptability-- try various kinds of spice combinations until you find one you love.  If you're ever stumped, refer back to Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair.

Just add a salad and voila: a beautiful paleo meal!  It's easy, low maintenance, and utterly satisfying. Be sure to save the bones to make broth.  I hope you give this recipe a try-- it's perfect for dinner parties!

If you're also a Chicken Whisperer and have your own signature chicken recipe, send it my way-- I love to try new recipes! 

Baked Chicken

Serves 2-4 people

Ingredients

1 whole chicken, 2-2.5 pounds

3 garlic cloves, crushed

1/2 lemon, cut into 2 wedges

1-2 Tbsp olive oil (or melted coconut oil) plus a little extra

1/2 tsp dried sage

1 tsp dried thyme

2 tsp dried rosemary

2 tsp parsley

Salt & Pepper to taste

2 carrots, cut into 2 inch sticks

1 yellow onion, cut into 6-8 wedges

Directions

Rub chicken with garlic, place in Deep Covered Baker (a Dutch oven or deep casserole dish will work), and surround with onions and carrots.  Squeeze juice from 1 lemon wedge over chicken and veggies, then rub the chicken all over with olive oil, sprinkling the veggies with some as well.  Sprinkle the chicken with spices.

As I said above: "Place a couple garlic cloves, an onion wedge, and a lemon piece inside the cavity for moisture. You can also use apple pieces."

After baking your chicken covered for an hour at 375 degrees (for a 2-2.5lb bird, you can find a chart of times & weights here), remove lid and put the baker back in the over for another ten minutes to crisp the skin. If your veggies are still underdone, remove the chicken and let them cook another 10 to 15 minutes until fork tender. (The temperature of the meat should be at 165 degrees)

Carve, serve, enjoy!

Hodge Podge Tips

• If you like using PSRT, feel free to alter the amounts to your taste. 
• You can use whatever sturdy roasting vegetables you want. I'd recommend any root vegetables cut up similarly to the carrots so they cook, or you can toss in brussels sprouts, potato wedges (if not doing Paleo), broccoli, cauliflower, etc.

Chicken Salad

For some unearthly reason, it's still stupidly hot in Los Angeles (100 degrees on October 1st? F**k me.) so I'm not cooking at all much. Not only does cooking require heat (duh) but the actual act also makes me warm. Blah. So chicken salad it is!!

In my extensive years as Someone-Who-Eats-Food, I've noticed there are two types of chicken salad: sweet and savory. I have a recipe for each, my sweet chicken salad recipe practically an exact copy of the Corner Bakery version. However, this is the savory one.

Super delicious as a sandwich...

To make this recipe (or any chicken salad recipe) even easier, skip the whole cooking chicken breasts/ boiling a chicken thing and just pick up an already roasted chicken at the grocer. It also saves on the heat and energy use at your place. Unless you're also making soup that requires broth: parboil a raw roasting chicken and BOOM! The liquid is automatic broth. You're welcome.

If your store has "flavored" chickens-- bbq, smokey, lemon & olive oil-- and hardly ever has plain like mine, go with something using rosemary, thyme, lemon, or olive oil. It adds a little extra zest to the salad too.

...or by itself.

Yes... I used mayo. Smart Balance Mayo since that's what was left in my fridge. And I just read that SB isn't so smart. Mayo is from the devil. Blah blah blah-- I'm not going to apologize anymore! I keep trying and changing my ways, but if I want to use mayo in my chicken salad then dammit-- I will! While Greek yogurt is great for sweeter versions, I don't think it would mix well with the green olives in this one. Same goes with Miracle Whip.

One final note: the problem with this recipe-- adapted from my mom-- is that I "eyeball" everything. So you might need to do a little tweaking to get the consistency just right... but hey, it's a great way to get the creative culinary juices flowing, right? RIGHT?!

Savory Chicken Salad

1 whole roasted chicken OR 3 chicken breasts parboiled OR 1 raw roasting chicken parboiled, remove skin, de-bone, and shred the meat

1 to 2 celery stalks, chopped fine

1/8 onion, chopped fine (optional)

1 cup small pimento stuffed green olives, sliced

2 to 3 Tbsp green olive juice

1 to 1-1/4 cups mayo (basically figure out how creamy you like it and go with that)

Fresh ground pepper & salt to taste

Put chicken, onion, celery, olives, salt, pepper, and olive juice into a medium bowl and mix well. Add mayo and stir until everything is well-coated. Let sit in the refrigerator for one hour. Serve plain or as a sandwich.